The Mweruka Sex-tape – My view.

Before I begin, I wish to state that I have not had the chance to appreciate the content, substance and quality of the sex tape recently published that involves Robina Mweruka. My blog will therefore zero on the criticisms and applause of the actions of Mweruka and speculate a bit on where it takes her from the point it went viral. Since the  publishing, I have heard all sorts of criticism, judgement, ridicule and other sorts of attitude positive and negative i may not be able to pen down today. I don’t watch Bukedde TV, and when I do, its for a short time. As such, I have not the slightest idea how Mweruka looks like. However, that cannot stop me from writing this opinion. The few times I have watched Bukedde TV, it has been the habit of the station and the anchors to state the that Bukeddde TV condemns all acts of immorality and lawlessness – “Bukedde TV evumilila ebikolwa ebyobuseegu n’okutwalila amateeka mungalo” If this is not a mere bluff, I wonder where this leaves the Katongole – Omutongoles and the Mwerukas?

Most of the comments I have read in passing, have been veered to attack the promiscuity of a married woman, her immorality and judgement has been passed upon women adulterers in general. It raises again the question of who is to blame for adultery of a partner. Further judgement has been hurled against the direct involvement of the husband’s  good friend which I will address in the coming paragraphs.

Adultery has existed for the last two millenniums which makes it something not new at all by any means, but some thing our married friends should learn to accept as a reality of marital life. In short my point is that any wife or husband sees it coming that his or her partner will cheat on him or her; that he or she may even have the arrogance to do it in their marital bed. Whether or not it should be condemned is a relatively subjective issue. In my opinion adultery should not even be a solid ground for divorce, considering the fact that our friends who enter into marriage contracts do so with the presumption and acceptance of the fact that their partner is human and will at will succumb to desires of her/his body the self-control and values notwithstanding.

We have been born an bred in a society in which our parents and have given lessons and lectures on the sanctity of sex and marriage; the church and religious institutions have passed on their indoctrination  as to what in their opinion they deem fit in the sight of God. I may not differ with them much, but may partly disagree with them on issues regarding adultery. My opinion has always been that marriages tend to be overrated and require a modification to fit into the modern social perspective which harnesses the reality that adultery has been and will always be present in marriages. In the instant case, most of the people have criticised Mweruka’s ‘immorality’ forgetting how many unpublished cases of their own cheating escapades are in their closets.

As a journalist and public figure the bar is always raised higher because of the public expectation. What the expectant public must always forget is that such public figures have personal lives and cannot live them without fault. Of course the very expectant members of the public are always eager to jump on their moral high-horse and write judgement upon their role – models involved in scandal, laugh at them, ridicule them and sit and patiently wait for the next of their prey. Even husbands find it suiting to act upon their anger outrage and file applications for divorce; because their wives were involved in the public walk of shame.

I have not had the chance of listening to Robina Mweruka’s side of the story (if there is any) but i have thought of the possibility that the video clip could have been leaked against her will; logically, there is also a possibility of blackmail. I wish to give her the benefit of the doubt  and my sympathies to Mweruka for: (a) According to my friends that have watched the video, there was no audio and; (b) the lighting was poor. Logically it doesn’t pair up for a person who wished to make  and leak a sex tape for herself. The blackmail theory probably fits in right, the room could have been bugged with the intent of blackmailing her with the video of her and the husband’s good friend.

I plan to discuss the issue of disrespect as I had mentioned in the aforementioned paragraphs. As to whether or not it makes a difference when a partner has an affair in the marital bed and, or with a good friend of the husband. I think the difference is marginal. Yes it is absolute arrogance in the case of the using the marital bed and having an affair with the friend of a husband. However i tend to think the rational husband is likely to get hurt in equal measure. What is important is that the spouse comes to a realisation adultery is a fact of marriage life, and it can be worked upon without divorce. Many cases, i have seen on Bukedde TV have been in my view a success considering the after the accusations and fights, the husband struggles to walk away with his wife. In the Mweruka case, unless there are other factors that may call for divorce in the Mweruka marriage, it is my view that the application for divorce was an overreaction on the husband’s part.

Lastly, i wish to discuss the management of a massive sex tape scandal, for her family, i would liken the grim and darkness in her home to what occurs when one loses a child. The divorce application are all hearing about is just an icing on the cake. But this is not to say that the she is patient zero of a sex tape gone viral. Several other creatures have been through what she is experiencing, but of course life is never the same. She will be lucky if she keeps her job, and not fed on by in-laws that were dying to have their moment to do so. Soon the tabloids and social media will move on to the next and forget about her, but for now she makes good boy talk.

‘Monster maid’ – Part of Human nature?

Watching the video of the “Monster maid” as one of the dailies described her is terribly saddening, actually, breathtakingly annoying. Truly I have done my best to be objective on this one, the consequences of the torture (only seen on-screen) notwithstanding.

To my knowledge, at the time of penning this micro-article, the accused was found mentally sound, and her charge-sheet amended from Causing Grievous bodily harm to attempted murder. Of course, the question as to why she opted to be a ‘Monster maid’ may not be put into consideration by the trial court, I guess not even in mitigation.monster maid

I then ask myself, why and when on earth do maids become ‘monsters’. I am not basing my discussion on the accused but on a wide range of conversations about the experiences from friends, and my kin. I proceed under the understanding that Human nature is shoed around premise that we are all born that way “beasts”. But our civilisation; religion, parenting, some education, and coercive powers of the state put us back into shape. It is further argued that in the absence of civilisation we are capable of doing what the ‘monster maid’ did and even worse.

There are quite a number of reasons as to why a maid would lose all her civilisation; which i will discuss well knowing it is immaterial to her case, but perhaps may be relevant to the surviving employers, especially those with children.

When placed in any society, different from where you were born and bred, any normal human being will try to fit in that particular society, so do maids. Brought up in a village in Bugamba or Rubanda (no defamation intended) they try to fit in a society in Kampala, with cookers and LED TVs, of course not in accordance with what the employer envisioned while ferrying her all the way to Kampala.

It goes from barring her from watching a TV program, even which translated in a language she can understand, to denying her meals for she is turning in efficient in the employer’s opinion. I know may employers how have the powers to utilise the whip when the maid in question becomes ‘big headed’ the situation becomes tougher for any maid when her boss lady comes to a realisation that she is preying along her most important interests, her marital bed and her husband – unfortunately even a mere suspicion may earn her the torture you would expect from a safe house.

It is imperative to note that in such circumstances, lady in the home is the boss; she does the appraisal, sets the targets and spells out the daily duties. As such, it is commonly not in the man’s jurisdiction; in effect intervening in matters of disciplining the house maid and not side with the ‘lady of the home’ is suicidal; it confirms her suspicions as earlier mentioned….

To the belief of many employers, the house maid is ideally a work-horse that never tires, in their opinion she was bought from Bugamba or Rubanda (no defamation intended) to work, not to sit on her lazy arse; that she is not paid to rest but to work…!! In contrast her employer leaves home at 7.00am and returns by 8.00pm, tired from sitting behind a computer and working on the telephone, the house maid is on her feet the whole day, slaving from chore to chore, any rational thinker would wish her to retire earlier than 12.00am. Human nature!!

In my opinion, many times the beast in the house maids, though well tamed may be forced out by the circumstances that occur in the course of the course of their employment, bad bosses.  This might explain the transferred malice like that in the ‘Monster maid’ video clip, or sexual assault or other grievous acts that are committed by the house maids today.

My words are not intended to down play what we all saw in the video, nor do they give a defence to the house maids that have gone rogue. They are such as to show, employers and my readers that human nature sometimes acts in a sense that you reap what you saw! There are various stories to the effect that there are success stories of good maids and nannies. How they did it i also don’t know.

I must a point of concern that many other ‘monster maids’ may do what whatever grievous act or omission as they may choose out of envy, as they may envy where your success; wealth, adorable children. Lastly, the nature – nurture question; some human beings depending on where they and how they were raised may turn into what they are today, beasts or angels. This principle gives no exceptions to house maids.

Finally it must be remembered it costs you less to treat your employee with respect, especially one who has the power to kill you in your sleep; or to render your child psychologically stressed at the age of one. The UGX 100,000- you pay is just not enough to buy yourself a slave. It is only a matter of luck that you are in the position you are in and not hers.

Research Assistant Opportunity in Uganda

Melina Platas

Interested in elections and political accountability? Looking for research experience conducting impact evaluations? Pia Raffler and I are hiring a research assistant for a new study on elections in Uganda. Desired start date is January 2015, running through early 2016. Applications are currently being reviewed, so those interested should submit an application immediately. More information below, and at this link.

Research Associate – Meet the Candidates (Uganda)

  • Reports to: Research Manager
  • Location: Kampala, Uganda with frequent travel up-country
  • Deadline to apply:  Applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis
  • Desired start date: January 2015
  • Length of commitment: 16 months

Innovations for Poverty Action seeks a qualified Research Associate to oversee the impact evaluation of an information campaign on voter behavior in the context of the 2015 primary elections and 2016 general elections in Uganda. The intervention will involve the recording of ‘Meet the Candidates’ sessions with Ugandan candidates for political office…

View original post 620 more words

It’s a huge rip off: Universities are cheating both students and teachers

Sunny Ntayombya

University of Kigali campus University of Kigali campus

There is a universally held opinion among Rwandan employers that university graduates are half-baked and totally unprepared to compete in the job market. And as someone who has interviewed a few young aspiring journalists I can say that the sentiment holds a bit of truth. For the longest time I believed that the main issue was the outdated curriculum that put more emphasis on rote learning rather than practical skills, but a recent encounter changed my mind.

After receiving my post-graduate degree I thought of ways I could use the skills I learnt in Beijing to better my country and profession. So, I decided to do what I’ve always wanted to try: teaching. I reached out to several universities that had an undergraduate programme in communication, mass media or journalism and sent them my resume. I got a call back from a certain well-known Kenyan university…

View original post 613 more words

Of Pots and Kettles….

Amattawrites

Mike

Apparently one man is not about to leave the news just yet

That man is non other than Hon. John Patrick Amama Mbabazi and congratulations to all those opportunist in the movement and all his critics for keeping his name high up there, where being a politician he would obviously want it to be.

Its worth noting, that since he was removed from his position, Mr Mbabazi has hardly said a word, but everyone else who wants to be heard speaking about or rather against him has had more than his/her fair share already.

And that keeps me wondering, what will happen when he finally starts to speak?

There are no prizes for guessing but one thing is for sure, always think twice before standing on tree tops and roof tops to shout against a silent man, you just never know what he has up his sleeves.

That said, of…

View original post 320 more words

The South Sudan Way, any sober goverments way

Amattawrites

South sudan

The South Sudan government has made a decision, It has decided that it doesn’t need foreigners doing petty jobs that can be done by its own citizens within its own territory.then all of a sudden there is all this noise, everyone asking why they have done this.

The answer is simple, they have done so because they have a right to do so and the government thinks its the right decision for its people.

Lets face it….

Any responsible governments first responsibility is towards its own citizens, anyone and everyone else is secondary. its a responsibility that is deeply enshrined in each and every country’s constitution. a government that fails to do so and puts the interests of  foreigners above its own citizens is betraying its own and has no reason to wonder why it shouldn’t be regarded as a failed government.

Its every sovereign country’s right to protect its…

View original post 557 more words

ISIS, ISIL, or any other name! Are they relevant? Have these names any effect?

ISIS

I have watched all these media reports; read press statements from our so called International community; continued to follow the White House movements of Obama and Kerry on the subject; and gone ahead to dread on the beheadings and crucifixions and what may be called the imprudent acts and omissions of the ISIS/ISI & Levant and Islamic State as they properly so call themselves.

It is not my intention today to delve into their legitimacy  or the illegitimacy of their cause. I only intend to ask the question that one may be regarded less fundamental when seeking allies and weapons to overthrow those ‘rogues’. From what i have gathered, the name ISIS or ISIL or any other is a name that that they do not keep for a long time. One would argue that their name evolves as their cause and mission does. It is relevant to ask whether ISIS – Islamic State of Iraq and Syria purports to make mention of the possibility of the actual creation of a state as may be defined under International law.Isil

 

Who are these people?